it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
