remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He passed out mid-signature
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
