Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
