it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
