i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
