Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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