you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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