I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
