i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
