when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
