no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
