I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
