So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
