Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
