jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Pappa wants mamma naked
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
