I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
