I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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