everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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