im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
