idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
