I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
