You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
as a side note pls kill me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
