the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
