scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
