I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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