See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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