Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
