yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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