sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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