i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
