it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
