handjob tips. give me some.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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