i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
