Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
