I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
