Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
