Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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