Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
