Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wish they made helmets for livers.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
