if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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