Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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