apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
thus making me awesome and them whores
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
