I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
