"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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