Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
