i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
