They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
