I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
