Fine. I'll sleep in my office
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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