so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
